All I want is coffee and a biscotti and to enjoy it them alone. I don’t want to share them with anybody. And by anybody, I mean that I don’t want to share my treat with my kids.
Isn’t it enough that I share my drinks, my lunch, and my bathroom time?
It’s not fun going to the bathroom with an audience. Especially an audience that likes to announce the progress of the show.
And how about my uterus? La Rubia was determined to outstay her welcome. And thanks to La Grande, I’ll never be able to eat Taco Bell again…well, maybe that was a win/win.
And my boobs? I have had to share them with everybody in my house at some point or another.
Is it too much to ask? Am I being too demanding?
Why can’t I just say “Mommy doesn’t want to share with you”?
Maybe I can hide. But what are the chances they’ll hear the crinkle of the wrapper? They’ll ask for a small taste and then a bite. And then they’ll ask, “can you share it with us?” When I say “No, this is my cookie,” La Grande will brazenly throw back my own words at me: “Well, don’t you always say it’s kind to share?”
Well, shit. Yes, yes I did say that. Don’t you love it when they throw you back at you?
But I don’t want to share. So I think I’m going to hide. The pantry might work. Or maybe the laundry room. Maybe I’ll just send them upstairs to play so that I can indulge. Alone.
Do you ever get to enjoy snacks alone? How do you hide from your mini-minions?